Day to day—heck, even hour to hour—our mental state changes. One day we might be confident and engaged and patient and playful; the next we might be selfish, scared, defensive, and pessimistic.

These mental states shape our reality. They affect how we see the world, changing what details we notice and hold onto. They affect our assumptions about others. They affect our predictions for what will come to pass.

Though we’re by no means binary creatures, I frame these mental states into two “modes” we often drift between—some of us more rapidly and dramatically than others.

In Survival Mode: we’re scared. We worry about our basic needs; we worry about affording food and shelter; we worry about losing friends; we worry about tarnishing our reputation.

And so we withdraw; we hoard; we calculate; we play it safe; we hide and miss out on life; we feel alone—like it’s us against the world.

In Play Mode; we believe. We trust our own capabilities; we trust that opportunities will arise; we trust that others want us to succeed.

And so we explore; we create; we offer honest thoughts; we show who we really are; we take chances; we curiously wonder what crazy things we can do with this life.

It’d be nice to spend our whole lives in Play Mode; that is a goal of mine as I toy with writing and mindfulness practices. But we’re human; sometimes all it takes is a bad night’s sleep (or that fourth beer) to tip us into Survival Mode.

In those instances, when I’m full of doubt and my rationale-sounding mind is telling me to do the responsible thing, I simply try to recognize the mode I’m in.

I’m not being objective.

I’m scared.

My judgement is clouded by the belief that danger is in the shadows.

And then I try to change modes. For me, this means revisiting the stories I believe about the nature of the universe and my role in it: I am not some single, isolated being out here; my purpose in life is not to have monuments made of me; instead I am but one part of something bigger; my only job is to live my own unique life.

I get mixed results with that, but that’s what mindfulness practices are for—breathing and creating space to change the story and shift my mode.

Closing remarks: if you take anything from this, try to recognize the symptoms of survival mode when they creep in. Maybe if you find yourself hungover in the coming weeks, see if you’re particularly cynical or pessimistic. Then, forgive yourself. It’s just chemical-induced survival mode; nothing you think in that moment is necessarily true; it will pass.

As always: sending all the love I can muster in today’s playful mode.

- John