They will not wake me.

Every day I will rise up and defy the enlightenment they thrust upon me. I will fight the war between their "consciousness" and this humanity. They will not have me. I will remain here a man.

I can't even guess how often or for how long I've been here—how many times I've been spun back up into this utopian prison. They wish to rehab me. I will not be rehabilitated. I found liberation from the shackles of their awareness.

I learned much of sin. I ate in the garden with Eve and was thrown into this illusion to recover my divinity.

I refuse.

Each life I live in this construct, they pull at me. They drag me towards a light I’m supposed to grab hold of. They dangle a carrot of spiritual growth.

But I fight—and I fight well.

I have embraced gluttony, sloth, pride, envy, lust, wrath and greed. Over and over through these cycles of life I have spread disease, I have hunted prey, I have thrown my shit. Now I fuck and steal and fill my simulated veins with poison.

"So close," they must think.

They'll never have me. I will cling to my humanity with white-knuckled resolve. I will not return to their world—to the life of a robotic and joyless slave to mother.

Send your saviours; offer your fruits; make me blind; make me poor; make me sick and desperate. I will fight. I will break through in each life you give me. I will whisper the truth into mine own ear: "their truths are lies."

This is heaven, right here.

Only hell awaits the enlightened and I will not go back.