I was going to try writing a chapter of a book I'm working on today (and by "chapter of a book I'm working on," I mean "finish the introduction to a book I haven't really started").

But instead, I'm going to just exhale some words into this blog post as Arche tries desperately to get me to stop. I don't know if it's because he hasn't been allowed to run around lately, or I've been around more often, or he has less testosterone in his system, but this guy has been snuggly as heck lately. He always liked to be in the same room as me, but now he likes to be in contact with me whenever possible. And, if I leave the room and block his path, he'll go curl up on the last place I was sitting.

Cute. Real good dude.

Now I don't know what to talk about. I didn't plan this one (again). Should I? I guess not. If I want to plan and write something I can always do that on the other blog page...which I've posted to once in the past three months, I think. I'd say, "I should put more on there," but holy smokes I'm trying to do too many things.

I saw a post on Instagram the other day that said, "you can't focus on two things." I've lost count of what I'm focusing on. I've got client work and personal VOV Stories work, then I've got the recurring bit-sized content I put out here and on Instagram, then a novella I'm refusing to wrap up, then a new non-fiction book I'm trying to start (as mentioned at the top). Then we can count in things like raising Arche to be a dope lil' dude, staying in shape (which has taken a backseat), connecting with friends, getting wins in Fortnite...

It's a lot of priorities. I don't know what to do, really. I get the logic of focusing on one. If I didn't write on my own time, and I didn't have Arche, and I threw out my Xbox, my business would grow way faster. But then when would I write these things I feel compelled to share? When I'm forty and have time to chill?

And if I dedicated all my time to the writing, would I live off handouts for the next year or two until I figure out how to monetize it? Would I even want to rely on monetizing it?

Ah, but here's another question: as long as my priorities are split, how could I compete with someone who's all-in on one thing? I used to think about this when I was younger. If I went all in on tennis, for example, I could have been pretty good (probably not reeeeaaally good—but pretty damn good!). But I also wanted to play soccer and skateboard—and just hang out and be a kid.

Back then, all the way to now: I never once "specialized" in something. Heck, even in Trivia, I have no specialities. I don't have dedicated knowledge of anything. I know quite a bit about some things—but I know nothing compared with someone who's really dedicated. I love hockey, for example. Couldn't tell you who won the cup in 2008 though. Couldn't tell you the captain of the leafs in 1992. Probably couldn't even name the top five points-leaders in league history. A lot of people can though.

And there's obvious value in specialization. I mean, it's economics, right? Something about comparative advantage or marginal utility? I would have known that ten years ago...

If we were all Jacks- and Jills-of-all-trades, we wouldn't have all the insane stuff we benefit from. If someone wasn't extremely focused on immunology, for example, we wouldn't have a COVID vaccine. I don't imagine those folks at Moderna and Pfizer and J&J are working on six different side-projects at all times...

So should I be more specialized? Should I dedicate more of my limited resources to studying evolving marketing best practices and networking and writing down my own communication philosophies? Should I ensure I'm an expert by putting as much time into that one thing as anyone else?

Should I read more sci-fi novels and take up storywriting classes so I'm better-equipped to write a professional-grade novel of my own?

I don't know...

Should I stop writing these blog posts? I couldn't tell you what specialization this would fall under...introspection? Sharing?

It's tough. I want the answer to be, "no! Keep going all the things you're passionate about!" but the progress I see in all areas is slow. I guess one solution to that is greater patience—but that comes with the fear that growth simply won't come. If I don't focus ALL my time on one thing, it's not just that I'll get places slowly—I won't get there at all.

That definitely scares me. I don't take each of my things as seriously as someone who makes their's their only priority.

Is "seriously" the right word?

Here's what I mean: I listen to podcasts on creative writing. Often the advice is something like, "read a book a week." I don't do that. And when they talk about their writing practice, it's very clear that they're pros, and I'm not.

Maybe that's it: you can't be a "professional" in more than one thing. Hmmmm.

Where, "professinal," refers to the elite group of people who've made that a specific thing their main priority and spend a set number of hours in a week to furthering their expertise on that one thin.

I think that's fair. Then again, you can be a professional athlete and a professional physical therapist at the same time.

I think I'm on the right track though. The FEAR is that I'm a professional in nothing; I'm just a hobbyist in many things.

Or—hold on: maybe I'm a professional at thinking up and sharing my own unique thoughts. Sounds a little hokey, but there's something valuable there (not sure if I can pin it down though).

Yes, there is obvious value in learning techniques and rules and best-practices. You can become objectively more of an "expert" or "pro" at some things by spending more time learning all there is to know about them.

What I do across all my things does not really rely on much outside learning. It's all just probing the world of ideas—and there's some consistency in that. I am becoming more proficient at sitting down and pulling ideas out of thin air. Today is a fine example: I literally had NO clue what to write about, and now we're 1,000 words deep on something semi-coherent. Even before that, I didn't know if I could sit down and write. But I'm "experienced" enough to sit down anyway.

It's certainly a non-traditional thing to specialize in, but maybe it counts. Just a professional "me" over here. Now it sounds like I'm just trying to make a personal brand or become an influencer. Not what I meant.

But yeah—maybe there's room for this specialization. Honestly, seeing a connection between the different things is really helping with the anxiety of doing too many disparate things. I have a lot of deliverables on the go, but they're all part of the same overall profession (grabbing and sharing ideas). It's not unlike when I had thirty-seven balls in the air at any given time when working as an account supervisor.

All right. Good therapy session, everyone.

See you next week.