Valentines Day Special
Happy Valentines Day, everyone!
In this very special edition on John's Sunday Pages (aka the no-delete-key blog), I'm going to jupm right into my main story for the day!
Let's talk about love.
Am I qualified to talk about love? Absolutely not. I am not allowed to give any sort of relationship advice. You who is reading this are likely far more qualified to give me your thoughts on love.
But I'm the one writing this blog, so I'm going to share something on the subject anyway.
I'm going to ask: what is love?
(Baby don't hurt me.)
That question is more my territory, and I do have something to offer.
To love someone is simply to see them.
To REALLY see them, though—as they are and in their entirety.
To see them as a unique and conscious person burped out by this universe—just like yourself—and to celebrate their existence.
To see them as a fellow thinking and feeling person—an ally in this insane world.
Let me go another direction.
You ever heard the advice, "treat other people like they're an alternate version of you living a different life." (It's an alternate to "love thy neighbor as yourself.")
See, we have an issue nowadays where we objectify our fellow humans. We often don't see them as conscious beings JUST LIKE US. It's an ego thing—part of us thinks we're so damn special that no one could possibly have a similar esxperience.
Our rational side will say, "obviously other people think and feel and exist as I do." But we struggle to believe that deep down. There's always still an "I" and a "them" sitting just beneath the logical thought, waiting for us to forget it. Other people are still other people; they exist as part of the outside world. They're extremely dynamic parts of that outside world, but they're not...active players like we are.
There's a divide. There's a difference.
Until there isn't. Sometimes that surface-level logical thought of "they're just like me," sinks in deeper. You really accept it. You see a spark of something...familiar in them. Like, that special part of you sees the special part of them and your eyes are blown wide open.
"I'm not alone. There's an 'us!'"
That's love—that deep embrace of another person's existence. "Just like the universe made me, and set me walking around amid all this absolute chaos, it also made them. We're here together."
Almost like playing a video game you thought was single player, and then all of a sudden you bump into another actual human.
Sometimes that happens entirely by luck—you bump into someone and some chemical reaction happens in your brain (and elsewhere) and you're struck dumb with the realization you're not alone. You get an ally thanks to your body's response to another person.
But it doesn't have to be luck. Love is something you can cultivate—almost like a mindfulness practice. Remind yourself over and over of the humanity of friends, family, and strangers. They're all real. They're all here too. They're all in this insane universe—just like you.
You'll forget, of course. That guy who takes too long to order coffee in front of you? Fuck that that. He's not one of us. Except he is. Remind yourself. He's in this with us.
And maybe you'll never love him, but that constnat reminder will nudge you towards being more loving in general. That reminder will make it easier to love your friends. The practice will make it easier to love those random people on dating apps. It'll just make the world more...love-y in general.
So, happy valentines day. Love ya.
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OH—Almost forgot! I got a little pallet-cleansing mini-rant for you.
Gina Carano was fired by Disney and subsequently given a new gig last week. This is exactly how the whole "cancel" system is supposed to work—no one should be upset, this was perfectly executed.
Gina, who played Cara Dune on the best-written Star Wars production, "The Mandelorian," is a problem on social media. She tweeted all sorts of anti-mask things; she's been notoriously trans-phobic; she joined the stop-the-steal movement; and most-recently compared being a conservative in the U.S. to being a Jew in Germany during the Holocaust.
Not things her employer wanted to align themselves with. Totally fair. If you're Disney, you are partly responsible for the fame (and therefore the megaphone) Gina is awarded. If you don't like what she's saying, it is absolutely okay for you to withdraw your investment in her platform.
Great: Gina's cancelled.
Then, the folks at The Daily Wire—who have no issue supporting the things she says, and believe the partnership will be profitable—gave her a new gig.
Great: Gina gets to keep doing her thing for a smaller, more niche audience.
There is nothing wrong with either of those things.
Some people will say, "she shouldn't have been fired from Star Wars!" But their opinion on how dangerous or offensive Gina's tweets were doesn't really matter. Only Disney's does.
Some people will say, "she shouldn't get back on TV in any capacity!" And that is crazy. That's her job. We can refrain from giving her our money or attention. We can tell her employer that we'll stop supporting them if they support her. But if another employer doesn't care about our support (since they have plenty of support from another crowd), we're done. That's the end of the story.
It was the same with Louis C.K. Netflix can pull his stuff. People can refuse to attend his shows. But if some people still want to see him, and someone is willing to host him, that's the end of the story.
So congrats to the people who don't have to see Cara Dune and get upset over Gina's fame. Congrats to Gina for no longer having to play nice for an employer she doesn't see eye-to-eye with. Congrats to Ben Shapiro at The Daily Wire for cashing in on the situation. And sorry, I guess, to the people who were looking forward to the Cara Dune spinoff and don't care about the off-screen drama. But I'm sure there's enough new Star Wars content on the horizon for you. What's the Rosario Dawson Jedi one? Ashoka Tano? I'm sure that'll be just fine, and Rosario seems a lovely person.
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Okay that's it for the week.
Once again: love ya! Happy Valentines Day, everyone!